Happy Anniversary......... or not......

Today was our 3rd Wedding Anniversary.

As money is tight, we knew we couldnt afford to go out like we usually do, or buy anything for each other, but I had planned to make it special as best I could.

I had planned for a nice meal (ok so Spag Bol isnt adventurous but we like it!) once the girls were in bed, followed by a chocolate cheesecake I had picked up in Asda earlier and then snuggles on the sofa.

What did I get instead? The girls being complete nightmares to go to bed, a meal rushed down whilst trying to keep the girls calm, and 45 mins of trying to get Jessica to sleep.

Once the girls had finally settled, we had our cheesecake, and then promptly watched TV all night. Hardly a word said, and once we get to bed finally at 11.45pm, he rolls over and goes to sleep.

I feel a little let down by his effort today to be honest, I may well be PMT Bitch from Hell right now, but surely the effort should still have been there today of all days.

We agreed weeks ago that we wouldnt bother with cards, but while in town yesterday I bought one anyway (and one from the girls). He knew I had bought them, yet still couldnt be bothered to go to the local shop for one for me, I made the effort in going to Asda and buying nice things for a nice meal and cooking it. I have had absolutely no affection or recognition of the day, and to be honest, Im gutted.

I just wish I knew where the loving caring person I married has gone, I know things have been stressful for all of us over the past few months, but the lack of communication is really starting to wear thin.

As a result of all this, and his snoring, I am now wide awake at nearly 1am wondering why I bother!!

On the plus side, its nearly christmas. I am really looking forward to seeing the girls faces on christmas day and sharing the happiness with them. I know Rebecca is a little young to understand just yet, but Jessica seems to be really getting into the swing of things which is amazing. She really is a clever little girl!

I think I am going to have to go and buy Rebecca some "outdoor" shoes on Friday, when I took her to Asda earlier, she wanted to walk from the house to the car and the car to the house but I couldnt let her do that in her Daisy Roots - she would have ruined the shoes and got wet feet! Bang goes another £20 at the weekend then! Its scary to think that my "baby" will be getting measured for shoes.... she doesnt seem big enough!

Off to Dads tomorrow for Christmas, just need to wait in for a delivery and get packed up and off we go. Will post a bit over christmas, especially as dad has borrowed an internet hub from work so we can wire up the laptop and the PC from the one connection. Im a little wary as to what the girls will be like while we are there, their sleep seems to be all over the place at the moment and it is really starting to wear me down. I love them to bits I really do, but I honestly cant wait for the day they both sleep through the night and later that 5.30am!

Week 1 of Christmas Leave for Dave is nearly over, seems to have flown by, but on the other hand, we are a week closer to being able to get out of this mess! I am worried, naturally, about what will happen financially when he is kicked out. How am I supposed to be able to pay my bills month by month with little to no income? I know the benefits system is there to help in these situations, but things seem to take so long to get sorted! We are still awaiting any sort of news on the DLA claim we put in a few weeks back, but due to Christmas I cant see us hearing anything for a while yet.

I guess I should really wind this up now, I will probably read it back in the morning and regret some stuff I have written and delete it, but I feel better for having got it out!

Thanks for reading if you got this far!!!